Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Word Games

I grew up with well-educated parents who relished verbal sparring. This, combined with my voracious appetite for reading, helped me develop an extensive vocabulary.

After my freshman year of high school in San Anselmo, CA, my parents moved us to Pawnee City, Nebraska - population 1300. The high school there was not noted for attracting stellar teachers. Many of the school's teachers came from the nearby Peru State Teachers College.

In this school, I would occasionally exercise my vocabulary in a quixotic attempt to stave off boredom. Once, after I had completed a particularly complicated verbal gymnastics routine, the teacher, who was also the basketball coach, said in frustration, "You think you're pretty eruditic, don't you Kunkel?"

"The word is erudite."

Monday, September 12, 2016

Dale Evans vs Led Zeppelin

Years ago when I worked nights, I would sleep in the afternoon before going to work. One afternoon, I was awakened by loud, off-key, cowboy Jesus music coming from the assisted living facility behind our house. When I went out in the back yard to investigate, I found the source.

In the small room directly opposite our fence was a woman in her mid-60s dressed like Dale Evans complete with fringed skirt, cowboy boots, and cowboy hat. She had a microphone, electric guitar, and amplifier and was singing to three old ladies.

I went around to the main office and asked if they could turn "Dale Evan's" volume down a bit since I was trying to sleep before going to work. The manager said, "According to the city, we don't have to keep the noise down until after 10pm".

"OK, but remember, you're not the only one that ordinance applies to."

The next day, I placed a step ladder next to the fence facing the room where Dale Evans played. I set a boom box on the top step and put in a Led Zeppelin II cassette. When she started her singing, I cranked up Led Zeppelin's "Heartbreaker" to full volume. When she stopped singing, I stopped "Heartbreaker". It took about 3 iterations of this before she finally gave up and turned off her amplifier.

A couple of days later I happened to see our 70-year-old neighbor, Chet, whom I had told what I planned to do. He said, "Well Dave, it looks like you put a stop to that off-key caterwauling, but I think the cure might have been worse than the disease."